Chuck Norris Java Facts

Assuntos Gerais
#1

  • Chuck Norris serializes objects straight into human skulls.

  • Chuck Norris doesn’t deploy web applications, he roundhouse kicks them into the server.

  • Chuck Norris always uses his own design patterns, and his favorite is the Roundhouse Kick.

  • Chuck Norris could use anything in java.util.* to kill you, including the javadocs.

  • Chuck Norris can hit you so hard your web app will turn into a swing application, and a very bad swing application containing lots of icons of human skulls.

  • Chuck Norris demonstrated the meaning of Float.POSITIVE_INFINITY by counting to it, twice.

  • A synchronize doesn’t protect against Chuck Norris, if he wants the object, he takes it.

  • Chuck Norris doesn’t use javac, he codes java by using a binary editor on the class files.

  • Chuck Norris’ java code never needs to be optimized. His code is so fast that it broke the speed of light during a test run in Sun’s labs killing 37 people.

  • When someone attempts to use one of Chuck Norris’ deprecated methods, they automatically get a roundhouse kick to the face at compile time.

  • The java.lang package originally contained a ChuckNorris class, but it punched its way out the package during a design review and roundhouse kicked Bill Joy in the face.

  • Chuck Norris never has a bug in his code, EVER!

  • Chuck Norris doesn’t write code. He stares at a computer screen until he gets the progam he wants.

  • Code runs faster when Chuck Norris watches it.

  • Chuck Norris’ binary edited classes ignore Java bytecode verifier.

  • Chuck Norris methods doesn’t catch exceptions becuase no one has the guts to throw any at them.

  • Chuck Norris will cast a value to any type just by staring at it.

  • If you get a ChuckNorrisException you’ll probably die.

  • Chuck Norris is the only one who can use goto and const in Java.

  • Chuck Norris can compile Java code in .NET Framework, obviously just by staring at it.

  • Chuck dont need to catch an Exception because Java is afraid of the “flying tornado kick” at the moment it throws

  • Chuck Norris’s code can roundhouse kick all other Java Objects’ privates

  • Java visibility levels are public, default, protected, private and “protected by Chuck Norris”, don’t try to access a field with this
    last modifier!!

  • Chuck Norris eats JavaBeans and Roundhouse Kicks JavaServer Faces!

  • Chuck Norris can divide by 0!

  • Garbage collector only runs on Chuck Norris code to collect the bodies.

  • Chuck Norris code uses agressive heap natively

  • Every single line code of Chuck Norris runs in real time. Even in a multi threading application.

  • When a CPU load a Chuck Norris class file, it doubles the speed.

  • Chuck Norris can execute 64bit lenght instructions in a 32bit CPU.

  • Chuck Norris implements “Indestructible”. All the other creatures implements “Killable”.

  • Chuck Norris only program Java web applications to get a .WAR in the end.

  • Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked a Java class very hard. The result is known as a inner class.

  • Chuck Norris can do multiple inheritance in Java.

  • JVM never throws exceptions to Chuck Norris, not anymore. 753 killed Sun engineers is enough.

  • Chuck Norris doesn’t need unit tests because his code always work. ALWAYS.

  • Chuck Norris extends God.

  • Chuck Norris workstation has so memory and it’s so powerful that he could run all java applications in the world and get 2% of resources usage.

  • Chuck Norris codes generics since 1.3.

  • Chuck Norris’ classes can’t be decompiled… don’t bother trying.

#2

ehehehe
muito bom!

#3

então somos dois :roll:

#4

[quote]- If you get a ChuckNorrisException you’ll probably die.

  • Chuck Norris can divide by 0!
  • Chuck Norris codes generics since 1.3.
  • Chuck Norris demonstrated the meaning of Float.POSITIVE_INFINITY by counting to it, twice. (esse eles copiaram do texto original, so que a la java)[/quote]

:wink: :wink: :lol:

#5

devia ter um assim também:

  • the only way to netbeans becomes fast is when chuck norris is near…

ou uma modificação do chuck norris original

  • tears of chuck norris makes netbeans fast… but chuck norris never cry, NEVER!
#6

vou retificar:

para

:shock:

#7

[quote=Proteu Alcebidiano]vou retificar:

para

:shock: [/quote]

Acho que foicaria melhor Chuck Norris extends God, pois CHuck Norris é mais perfeito que Deus!

#8

Contribuindo:

-Code written by Chuck Norris executes even if it is commented out.

#9

Only Chuck Norris can handle an OutOfMemoryError and keep his application running smoothly :wink:

#10
  • Chuck Norris extends Chuck Norris
#11